I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Randomize
