Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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