thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize