only if we run a train.
done.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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