In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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