i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
