he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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