That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I did not marry a roomba.
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