Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
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