is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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