This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
