What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
