return my video game
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
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