roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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