All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
