hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Sacagawea was the original milf.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
