Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
