haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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