Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Randomize