Where is the hickey?
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
