Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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