Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I AM VODKA MAN
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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