This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
