I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
