I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
