I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
