At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Randomize