He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
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