just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
