THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I could fuck to npr.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
