On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Randomize
