it glows. i had to have it.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
