it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
