I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
