How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Enjoy the penises
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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