I accidentally had phone sex last night
I'm jealous of your bromance
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
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