First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
im holly from the hills drunk
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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