You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
