That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
