we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
