Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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