Yo dont text me then not text me
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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