You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
