Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Randomize
