doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
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