Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
