So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Randomize
