Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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