My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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