whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
