24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize