just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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