Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
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