There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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