You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
