yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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