I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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