Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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