Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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