rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
