He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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