Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
