CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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