And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
