my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
