hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
did you just send me my own nude
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
